There really aren't enough words that can be said to really express any of the feelings that reside within me, and I'm sure within all of you. First, and finally, I would like to say that I would like to express my most sincere condolences for all of your losses, our losses, and the whole world's loss. I say 'finally' because I haven't said it yet, to anyone really, because I could not express it until today. I say the world's loss because it has indeed lost such a great force of joy; a force that has undoubtedly changed everyone it has touched, some more than others, and has most definitely changed my life. I would like to honor that force by saying some words I should have said so long ago, when she could have been there to hear them, and hit me while calling me a 'girl'.

In my hazy memory, I first met Gwen as she was tagging along with Boo, Jason, and Sean. Immediately I noticed how everyone could smile easier around her, laugh a bit easier, and could be more honest with each other. In those days, I really had no idea what to think of her, as she was a unique creature. She was endlessly happy for no particular reason and would bounce around the room on a whim. I found her personality to be: carefree, light, hyperactive, and terrifying.

As the months went by and eventually we entered a relationship, my first, I learned that she really did have too much energy. She was like a star, burning ever so brightly with this ceaseless supply of fuel. I met her parents, more of her friends, including Kirk, and learned so much more about her, and myself, than I thought I ever would know.

I grew to respect her philosophies and take them as my own, especially the ones about tacos. I learned more about religion and Wicca than I wanted to know, but became a wiser person because of. I saw her passion for her dreams and learned what initiative really means. I found out what it means to smile and live with your problems like they were feathers on your heart. Finally, I felt what it was like to be truly loved, then to be hated, 'by an Irish girl!' (as she would say), then loved, then hated again, and then loved, as a friend, in the end. Somewhere in there I met Devon, who I hated, at the time, who turned out to be quite the better man, and who I learned to respect with highest regards.

I missed Gwen deeply during those times when we couldn't, or wouldn't speak to each other, though I never really could express it then either. It was always her deepest complaint that I was really a robot inside, and truly it is a tragic irony that one of the things she yelled during those unpleasant times was, "The only way I'd get you to show emotion is if I died." Just so she knows, I did cry, and then laughed at the irony knowing full well she would be laughing at me once again proving her omnipotent correctness, and finally had to stop because, again, she called me a 'damn girl'.

Though, out of all the things that I have learned from her over these years, except that it is obviously quite a horrible thing to be a girl, I have learned that even the greatest darkness of blackest pitch can be pierced with a joy like hers. Even if the new journey she is on could be dark at times, I know that she does shine through, and even if the journey we continue on may become dark, I know that she does shine through. She gave us during her life a sun of a thousand smiles, to shine deeply within our hearts and memories, and left with us a son of infinite possibilities, who may still grow up in that same warm light, if we hold it within and never let it go.